TAKE ME BACK TO EGYPT
This trip has been so amazing for me. My first take away would be that preparing for and coming to Egypt has really taught me how to receive. A few days before I was going to leave I was seriously considering not even coming. Thankfully God touched someone to reach out to me and check on how I was doing and if I was ready to leave. Her timing was perfect and I literally broke down in tears on the phone. She listened very well, encouraged me to breathe, and simply asked, “what do you need?” I was embarrassed by the question and my answer was, “I don’t know.” I was so caught up in my fears of not having the resources to go and was so easily willing to give up that I hadn’t even taken time to actually calculate what I needed to be successful in my endeavors. While I’ve been here my throat chakra has really been opened up because part of learning to receive means asking for what you need. And part of asking for what you need is accepting rejection and using the soul forces to will yourself to not give up and keep persevering. So for everyone wondering where I got the funds to travel, my answer is God! Through people willing to serve love and by me putting my pride aside to accept and deciding that I WILL NOT STOP! And honestly when you are in alignment with Source and decide to carry out the will of God at all costs, the universe will start to conspire on your behalf, because its what the universe wants anyway.
My second take away is that I am always home, every I go. Which is a huge revelation for me because believe it or not, I am currently with out a physical place to live. I felt so welcomed in Egypt. It was honestly better than staying with family in regards to feeling at home. The staff on the boat were so accommodating, so concerned, always asking, “everything ok?” And the Egyptians are really big on hospitality. Almost every store or shop we went to they would offer us a hot tea, which is a huge thing. Even walking down the street I was offered teas, cold drinks, and even food. Probably more so because they were lusting for me, calling me brown sugar everywhere I went. I was even proposed to about 5 times. The first three where before I even left the airport smh. But it still speaks to how welcomed I felt, which is something I didn’t expect given the propaganda that depicts Egypt to be unsafe for a non-Muslim female person. Definitely a militant dictatorship but before I left I was walking the streets of Cairo at night like I owned the place. Anyway, it helped me realize that home is a mindset. It’s literally me, a state of being, where I choose where to be welcomed, where to feel comfortable, and where I choose to be open and myself. And from here on out I choose to feel that everywhere I go, even if that’s in my rental car.
My third take way is the ideal of identity. So often I find myself feeling unworthy and undeserving, like I don’t belong, and playing it small as to not outshine those I am sharing space with. Here in Egypt all those things were impossible to attach to. For the first 4 days I cried every day because I just could not believe that I was there. Really, what the hell was I doing in Egypt?! Smh lol. But like I said, everywhere I went someone was calling me brown sugar, or some one was telling how powerful I was, or thanking me for my gift, I was even worshipped, LITERALLY! Eventually I had to just let some shit go. Maybe before I didn’t deserve the experiences that I have been blessed to have. And maybe before I needed to be quiet and play it small. Welp, not anymore. In Egypt I JUST COULD NOT HIDE, so I won’t in real life either.
So outside of getting some personal development, Egypt was beautiful and awesome and nothing like the propaganda that makes everyone turn their faces when you say; “I’m going Egypt!” Granted the culture is a bit more aggressive than what I’m used to. Remember I was proposed to 3 times as soon as I got off the airplane. And the folks in the market will almost fight each other to gain your business. Yes, it was that serious. But the people are also so hospitable and really respectable at the end of the day. Just had to push through some of the cultural differences. Would love to go back to host some Tantric workshops and help folks develop in their sense of expression and grab and greater understanding of the shakti/shiva balance in themselves.
The first week or so, I spent most of my time in southern Egypt sailing the Nile on a decent sized boat going from temple to temple. It was so serene and peaceful. Most of the time was spent in silence and contemplation. Watching the water come to life in the morning and watching it go still again at night was a blessing to witness. And you could literally see how the river brought life to such a barren place, there was foliage and desert occupying the same space. A miracle, really.
Laying in the dessert, in view of the abundance of The Nile. Photo courtesy of @fullyseen
As we were on this mission of initiation I couldn’t help to foresee my own country of residence heading down a similar path where the military populated the streets invoking fear into everyone that walked by. I mean literally inside of every temple, every toll road, every intersection there were police. And half the time they were either sleeping or smoking a cigarette doing nothing. And they claim to be there in the name of safety because its so “dangerous.” But really it was annoying. And with the rituals and practices that we were doing it almost seemed like the police were following us to be honest. We weren’t supposed to be praying, couldn’t close our eyes, or damn near stand in one place for too long before the “Armed Knights of Egypt” came yelling and shouting in a language that already sounds aggressive in regular dialogue. I would literally sit with my eyes closed, trying to tap into the ancient wisdom in some these places and be mentally prepared to have someone walk up and put a rifle to my head because, “NO, NOT ALLOWED.” But whatever, no way I was gonna be scared out of my entire purpose of being there. Not after all that I went through to arrive.
Poverty is also a very prominent issue as well. Ironically I didn’t see people sleeping on the side walk like you would expect to see in Berkeley and San Francisco. However there were loads of trash on the corners with people sitting around eating scraps, missing rooftops on almost every house, and kids begging in the streets. And right before my eyes I could see the growing gap between the upper and lower class citizens and how the middle class is slowly but surely disappearing. I mean the folks are literally living off of tips because the minimum wage is impossible to live off of. The first time I went into the bathroom at the Temple of Isis I almost didn’t make it out, the lady was screaming “no free, no free” because apparently I was supposed to tip the lady for giving me toilet paper, smh. What was worst is that they assumed I had money to spare because I live in America but the truth of the matter is that they probably had more money than me, get into it!
Either way it goes, going to Egypt was more than I could have hoped it to be. When I was younger there were only a few things I wanted to do and a few places I wanted to go, and going to Egypt and seeing the pyramids has always been on my bucket list. But for whatever reason I didn’t really think it was ever going to happen. Not only did it happen, but it was clearly an ordained event orchestrated by God itself and there is no way I could have prepared my mind for the things that happened to me during those two weeks. By time I left I was reading hieroglyphs, understanding Arabic, and interpreting thoughts…a real upgrade to my DNA and unlocking for the powers of the mind. No telling of the miracles that will unfold over the time to come, and no way that you could tell me that I can’t do all things.
I love you Egypt.
I'll never forget waking up to this every morning. photo courtesy of @fullyseen